Unequal Yoking and the Issue of who a Christian can or who a Christian should not marry!

Lamentation-per-veritas's picture

 http://buwai.blogspot.com/2010/06/chapter-21-forgiveness-vs-apology.html#links

 

Gods power does not struggle with the powers of darkness, his power always over powers them. Let us make no mistakes about this fact!

I have been hearing this unequal yoking messages on radio (WAVA 105.1 to be precise), and they have been using it in the context of marriage, and as I go through scripture it is so clear that it is very wrong to use the unequal yoking doctrine, to determin who a person should marry!

If we say, don't marry that person because he is an unbeliever it means we have ruled that such a person is not worth marrying. And this is not Godly.

Secondly if we say so then we are walking in fear, and Gods perfect love casts out all fear from our heart. We must love those who are in the world as Christ loved us.

 
 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"-2 Corinthians 6:14

Unequal Yoking
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1.Christian+Unbeliever+ sitting and drinking beer in beer parlor talking about everything but the gospel.

2. Christian brother or sister+ Unbeliever+ talking about nudity and sexuality and even venturing into the act of it.

 
3. Christian + gossiping with unbelievers about someone or some people.</p>

4. Christian stealing. Stealing like many other sins is one of the sins unbelievers are yoked with, if you steal you share in the yoke with unbelievers, making it an unequal yoke. Because you are of a higher pedigree!
 
5. Marriage is not a sin, so it can not be cathegorized as something that unblievers do, which christians should not partake of! Instead we should draw unbelievers into Christ through marriage. God will save them, you just have to be steadfast, no matter the cost. This is true love!

 
Marriage should never be seen as a sin in any context (with exception to incest snd other unbiblical relationships) because God created it, when he created it he did not say, I have created marriage exclusively for only born again Christians. Marriage is like a fruit plucked from a tree, everyone is allowed to eat of it but not everyone invites the one who planted it to share in it. What is the sin, eating of it, or not calling God to share in it? None. Eating the fruit is good and calling God to share in the fruit is good too.

 
"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh."- Mark 10:7-8

Allah did not creat marriage, Buddha did not create it, krishna did not creat marriage, but according to scripture in Gensis 2:18-24, God created marriage but yet they, unbelievers partake in it. So according to christianity does the fact that Budhists marry mean their marriage is evil? Nooo! Remember Adam was not born again, God created marriage and it was and still is good in his site, no matter what religion you are! Its validity can not be relegated to a church or a building or a religion. God has given it to all to enjoy freely!
 
In the old testament, the jews were forbidden to marry the hethen because there was no grace for repentance for their hethen spouses. So it was almost gauranteed that if a Jew married a hethen, that they would start to worship the hethen false god e.g Solomon!

Now Christ has provided grace for us for repentance and also his blood for cleansing of our sins once and for all, why do we then bring in denomination to prevent ourselves from marrying one another. Did Paul not say that it is a false Spirit that leads people to forbid marriage? And the same Paul says if your husband is not saved, that the grace of God in your life may cover your unsaved spous and kids. That by the grace of God, God will save them and bring them into the fold. One of the most beautiful God wins souls is through marriage.

On the other hand, Christians who do not take their Christianity seriously should not be fooled into thinking they can go ahead and marry an unbeliever. Because they have not valued the grace of God given to them, so the grace and mercy of God will be hindered by their unbelief and unfaithfulness in whom they profess faith, namely Christ. I have noticed that men who stand firm in their faith are able to win their wives over than women, this is just my observation, but it is not necessarily scriptural!

Apart from that, there is nowhere in the bible were we are told not to marry people of other denominations. And doing so in no way implies unequal yoking, unless the couple while they were dating fell into sin(fornication specifically to be honest).

The argument about marriage is not the same as the argument about salvation, if not it would be easy to just marry and be sure you will reign with God in eternity. We are saved through Christ alone, but this does not mean that we must go about looking for ready made Christians to marry, because we were not ready-made-righteous when Jesus found us and took us to his father to show him who he has chosen for a bride.

However, it is the individuals choice in accordance with the grace provided for them to make the one true God the chief custodian of their marriage and this through Christ Jesus who is the Spirit of God poured out for all men to recieve, though not all men will. In order words the sanctification of any marriage depends on the salvation of both couples eventually. Because if one is saved and remains steadfast, the other most assuredly will be save, as the two of them are one in spirit. No one man can have his head saved, and his body unsaved. And God uses marriages especially to introduce christ to the world that he may be glorified!
 
"For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy."-1 Corinthians 7:14
 
Again, I don't know any born again Christian who would say he was ready-made-righteous when Jesus found him, we were sinners yet he chose us as a bride to show us his fathers love. You say how can I advice believers to go after unbelievers and marry them? I say what better way to show unbelievers the love of God than by winning them over through marriage.

However, It is only those who are spiritually weak that I will advice not to advance too fast into a relationship with an unbeliever for fear of falling back into the world. But he whose faith is rooted and grounded in the lord, let him not be confused or afriad...For it is the Lord that fights our battles for us, it is the Lord who saves us and keeps our marriages for us, not a pastors benediction, or a religion!!!
 
I love you and God bless
 
 

 

 
 

 

Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I have a girlfriend we have been dating 2 years and she has recently giving her life to Christ and she wants to get married but not till I'm right with Christ and says if I dont hurry we will lose our relationship.

Lamentation-per-veritas's picture
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If she is not strong and very dependent on the Lord on your behalf, then it is probably a wise decision to let it go. Marriage must be as God intended it for it to be Spiritually Successful and fulfiling of the scriptural intention of marriage.

These days there is a very terrible spiritual assult on marriage, everywhere you turn someone is divorcing. You do not want that do you? This is why It is good for you to take God seriously and know him personally so that you will be inbeud with the right ingredents to lead a Godly marriage.

Also, if she is being led spiritually not to be with you then you must let her be and start to develop a honest and sincere relationship with Jesus, not because of her but because your soul is in dire need to be made one with your creator through Christ Jesus.

Anonymous (not verified)
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Hi I disagree with the article above. I think to look for a believer as a partner isn't at all the same thing as saying the unbelievers are not worthy of marriage. I think that God's Laws work best in a marriage when both parties do their part. In other words I believe that for a wife to live up to her duties as a christian wife, it will take a christian husband for it to work over well. If it takes two hands to clap, it takes two to make the unity of marriage work in a Godly way. God only wants what's best for us and I do believe He wants us to have good fulfilling marriages. That's not to say the marriage will be perfect, but it's a lot easier to get back up on your feet once you've stumbled when you're of even yoke. If God compares His relationship with us to marriage then marriage is a very sanctified relationship here on earth too, and He will treat it as such. Besides in no other kind of  relationship are we BOUND to another the way we are when we get married. So i dont get the whole point of... "Christian+Unbeliever+ sitting and drinking beer in beer parlor talking about everything but the gospel." etc. It's in no way the same thing.

The only time we read about someone marrying outside the faith is Hosea and his wife and that was God illustrating his point to Israel. Also we only ever read of women who were grafted into God's family, Israel, after they chose to follow the God of Israel. I think that's because the men of God as the head of the household, had more authority in leading their wives to the Lord. Women were never given as much pull. Even today women are to submit to the men they marry.